Mama Africa Destination of great culture..

This is a shirt i designed for a competition on Springleap.com...

It's inspired by the mother city, capetown, underground people's... so it's not really something i expect to see Puma and Levi's fans wearing... have a pair of jeans i designed for it aswell so hey who knows what could happen if you vote number 5 for me SAZ1 on http://www.springleap.com/designs/mama-africa

saz1 vote 5 saz1 vote 5 saz1 vote 5 saz1 vote 5

TWLOHA - To Write Love On Her Arms

Hey it's me again your friendly neighborhood waitor...

from the 25th to the 31st it's Teen Depression Awareness week and a reason to write love on your arm!

this week is dedicated to promoting awareness of teenage depression as a cause of suicide... To show kids that they aren't alone, that there is someone who cares...

I've had my heavy experiences, I'm sure i know what they feel like. I had Friends that helped me, the thing is some of them don't have friends that are brave enough to help and that's what TWLOHA is all about! helping those who don't have help....

As LOVEistheMOVEMENT says,

"We are only asked to love, to offer hope to the many hopeless. we don't get to choose the endings, but we are asked to play the rescuers. We won't solve all mysteries and our hearts will certainly break in such a vulnerable life, but it is the best way. We were made to be lovers bold in broken places, pouring ourselves out again and again until we're called home." 

Integrity? BullSHIT.

you give me a place, you help me grow, 

you treat me like shit, you drag me through the mud

i hardly survive, i hardly eat or sleep,

i deliver to beyond anyones expectation, except yours because it's never perfect,

but when i leave in the next two years that's not having any integrity?

i make stupid commitments for you, i destroy myself emotionally,

but you still turn around and say i don't make enough effort for you,

i will leave and i will be the best and i will throw it in your face.

all of them.

the habit...

Fighting me for control, it's difficult to contain these voices to keep them at bay...

It's like a pain that burns my emotional self to black coal which still continues to seer into me.

One side is fighting for me to cut again, and the other, is calling out NO, and the more the one fights, the softer the other gets, different kinds of pain are the rsult of putting everything into keeping that "NO" voice alive...

Is it the exhaustion, is it the fact that i'm not able to be the way i want to be?

Feelings of failure, depression, anger, irritation, agitation, frustration, disorientation and pain increase everytime that "no" voice takes a hit, and the hardest thing is keeping it alive long enough to get through this.. if that's even possible...